Beauty...

I was reminded last night of the beauty of Jesus' love.  As cliche as that might sound, how often do you reflect on it? I know I talk about it and feel it and know it, but last night I was able to see it in its purest form.  I was so struck by it that I had to sit down and share my thoughts.
A dear childhood friend of mine that I have reconnected with and adore has become a follower of Jesus recently in her life.  To watch and listen to all He is doing in her life is so refreshing! She spoke of an event happening at our church in a couple weeks that was an ideal opportunity to invite her loved ones to come, not only for the event, but to experience this new part of her life, and hear about her Savior.  As she spoke, emotion poured from her unexpectedly.  Her tears of hope and ache for her family "to come" overcame her.

"to come" 

Not just to this event, not just to church, "to come to know Jesus." To open up their hearts to the possibility of an eternity with Him.  The beauty I was struck by and am still savoring is the reality that when "we come" to Jesus in our lives, return to Him, are in relationship with Him, we want nothing more than to see those we love and those we know come to Him as well.  The beauty I was struck by is the pure, raw emotion of the crack in our voice and tears that spill from our eyes, the emotions that flow from us as we share our desire to see the people we love come to experience the grace, redemption and power of a loving and true God. Because He is true, He is alive, and He is Lord. And He is so good.

She sent me a text this morning, saying she felt silly for being emotional... what I want her to know is what a testimony and reminder to me her transparency was, of the beauty of Christ's love.  To be so moved in our lives from having experienced Jesus, that we can't help but cry out with a broken heart for others to know Him as well.

His love is beautiful, and her heart is as well.

-K

Buttery Guilt.

I bought a bag of this crazy good "all natural" popcorn today-- a healthy snack alternative, Yes? At 2:45pm it seemed like Yes, at 7:52pm with the bag about 3/4 of the way gone, I think NO.

I am obsessed with popcorn, ask my hubby, who is my inhalation witness.  I'm the girl that when I go to the movies, wants the tub (not the single persons serving bag), with butter. Jake doesn't eat one bite. I'm the girl, that when pregnant with my sweet Addison wanted that buttery delight all through my pregnancy even when it made me feel SO sick. I just love popcorn.  So, with some form of crazy logic (otherwise known as no logic at all) it feels like I should just finish off the bag I bought today at 1:00pm so that I don't have it around to eat tomorrow...... except Jake noticed I was still reaching my hand it the bag 5 minutes ago so he has hidden it from me. 

That's all.

a love note...

Dear Summer,

I have many hopes and dreams when I think of you.  For the most part, I am just plain excited to spend time with you, it has been a while and last time we were together I was not in the best form to enjoy you at the fullest.  This year I am about 30 pound lighter, and that being said, I have someone new to introduce to you.  He is wonderful.  

I plan to usher myself into your space with some nice, long runs.  You know, the kind that will tone my jiggly parts up so that I can be dressed appropriately and not make you uncomfortable ( I know you don't care for parka's).  These runs will often include a jogging stroller filled with two baby bums.  It will also often include my fitter-half, aka, my hubby.  If you could tell your friend, Spring to give us some nice warm days to prepare for our time with you, I'd forever be in your debt.

A nice place to enjoy cold strawberry-cucumber inspired water and conversations with you and other good friends will be my wonderful back yard, equipped with a new kiddie pool, lawn chairs and a mess of outdoor toys.  The new "Fathers Day" BBQ will also enhance our experiences together. As you well know, we've been preparing for your warm nights with smokies and burgers already.

Oh don't worry! We will definitely meet up weekly at our Bottle Bay stomping grounds.  Baby #1 has big plans to "go under completely" this year in the glorious lake (that you will warm, right?), and Baby #2 gets to experience the first splash in Lake Pend Oreille.  He will love it.  I can't wait to get back on my water ski and remind myself I'm getting older, but still "got it." 

I long for your sweet starry nights, warm evening breezes, toes in the water while sitting on the dock. The sounds of the hum of a boat motor, children laughing, the excitement of the first fish being reeled in, marshmallow roasted and tent pitched for the season.  Oh how you love me! :)

Summer Evenings on the Lake....

Iced coffee, garage sales, crafting, and spending time slowly absorbing each ray of sun you have to offer.  Oy! I am so eager for your arrival.  

Just wanted you to know you are heavily anticipated and thought of often.

Your #1 Fan,

Kristine

Catching Up...

6 months! The little man in my life is already 6 months old! Oh how he has changed me and wrapped me around his sweet fingers. :) Funny how all through my pregnancy I couldn't imagine a boy, what it would be like to hold him in my arms, nurse him and yes, change his diaper...how would a little boy work? How would he fit into the family?  Oy! He has not only my heart, but his daddy's and sisters hearts also, he has them safely tucked into his tiny boy denim jean pockets. hehehe baby booty in tiny jeans, is there anything cuter?

Playing at Grandma & Grandpa's on his 6 month birthday

A little bit of Sunshine to bask in....

Life is sweet right now, after a year of many stretching situations, lessons, emotions and such.  Addison is a  such a little girl, no longer showing any signs of  "baby or toddler" but that of a school girl these days.  Pushing back, pushing boundaries, talking back, learning, questioning, embracing and loving hard.  Cruz is sleeping longer stretches at night, laughing and interacting with his sister who he adores and dancing (yes, dancing literally) when he hears music or clapping.  He loves music....we may have a little musician on our hands...we shall see. His chubby legs and sweet shoulders beg for never ending kisses which he has no problem receiving. :)

First Dentist trip was a HUGE SUCCESS! :) She loved it!

Some transparency: I find myself seeking balance in my life and shunning the voice in my ear ever so often that tells me I am inadequate at being the wife and mother I am supposed to be with the perfectly behaved 3 year old, 6 month old that is sleeping perfectly through the night... amazing dinners on the table of my spotless kitchen table each night.....as well as a professional woman with it all figured out down to the most intricate detail- when it comes to my time with my job (even though much of it is done from home). To be ahead of the game and  exceeding expectations only I have put on myself...I know that I am doing my best a both and enjoy both immensely... however the reality of there only being "so many hours in one day" is definitely where I find myself.

Yes, life truly is good and I am happy.  Despite the doubt that creeps into my head from time to time I know that God has equipped me with everything I need to do all He has placed before me, in my home ministry and in my church ministry- they are both the ministry of my life.   I am looking forward to the summer season that offers sweet down time with the ones I love the most .  Memories to be made on the water and under the sun.

So as for the delay in the world of blogging, wow, 2.5 months have passed since I last found myself sitting before my computer notepad writing down my thoughts for you to read.... all 7 of you *wink.

An early April sunny day, missing daddy in this pic, he was taking it! :)

More to come, some more on life, and then more on some crafting, playing, growing and such.

Cheers,
Kristine

Enough Excuses

Okay, Okay, OKAY! I've stated that the beginning of this year a "resolution" if you will, would be to "get back to getting fit!" Cruz was 2 months old when I decided this and now he is 3.5 and I am not "back to fit" YET... ENOUGH with the excuses! This is not a resolution, this is a lifestyle and I am 29, I better get it figured out before more life passes me by and it is not my lifestyle! SO no more resolutions, no more excuses.  Time to set goals and meet, then surpass them.  Thank you Pinterest for your "fitness" pins because I feel like a slacker and I also feel inspired!  So, I'm putting this out there and now I gotta do it NOW!
Addison is on board too, for the last week she has asked me every single day "Mama, when can we work out!?!" We did one workout 2 weeks ago and she put on her shorts and purple tennis shoes and joined me for almost the entire workout! Now if that isn't motivation, I don't know what is.  Time to make that little girl proud! hehehe...

So here I go, on to setting myself up for success!

 Time to get busy!

So, check in with me, see how I'm progressing and keep me accountable until I don't need any accountability but my own self!

On the flip side of this--We have be come a non-processed food family! We are eating and learning via The Daniel Plan Lifestyle Eating program and it is GOOD!!! Learn more about that here:  http://www.danielplan.com/

And check out this blog where I get TONS of recipe ideas that have proven to be delish!  http://www.100daysofrealfood.com/

Now that we have gotten the eating part down for the most part ( it doesn't mean we never get a treat).... The fitness is next! Time to get that INSANITY body back and keep it! 

Cheers!

Kristine

My Greatest Pursuit...

I love being a mommy.  It is amazing to me how much I love this role.  I never would have ever imagined how much my heart and life's direction would be changed when we had our first baby girl.  Over the course of a few months with sweet Addison my whole reason for being on earth became new.  My heart understood in human capacity what God's love for us must feel like.  My mission field became more clear and apparent as now I had a young life to help guide, shape form and point to Jesus.  Many of the aspirations that had taken the forefront in my life shifted to other places of priority, no longer the "most important pursuit."

Today, I have two lives that I helped create, that I love with the deepest love I have ever known or experienced.  I know that this is cliche as it gets, but oh how my heart bursts with love each and every time Addison looks at me and says "You look pretty mama," or "Mommy, I love Jesus too!" 

It swells when my little Cruz-boy's mouth curves up in the corners giving me a slight smile when he is nursing and notices his mama adoringly looking at him.  When he "ah-goo's" me and coos at me, trusting me completely.

There are many things I love, that I still aspire for, to do, to be, and I know God still has plans for me that I will continue to seek and pursue, but the one that will be most important for all of my days is to be a wife and mommy.  To be a light and example to the lives God has entrusted me to parent with my husband.

I am thankful for this season in my life, for the role of being a mommy. Just thought I'd say so.

K

Transparent

To start off, I wanted to say I am SO thankful to be on antibiotics! And thankful to everyone who has offered up prayers on my family's behalf! I haven't been this sick in my adult life! I got on some antibiotics today for my sinus infection....can't wait for them to start working!
Its a quiet afternoon for me right now with both babies sleeping and I'm upstairs looking out the window at the lake and the stillness.  The other night I was soaking in the tub (trying to find some relief, at least for my muscles) and I started to pray.  It began as a prayer asking God to heal my body and protect my family from anymore illness and then it became more of a prayer asking for a renewed passion for Him in 2012.  I have walked with Jesus as my Savior for all of my life, I was raised in the church I now serve and work at, and began my personal relationship with Him at 12 years old.

 I love Jesus, but I take Him for granted.  

He is the one constant in my life, the One who will love me regardless of how many times I throw daggers at His heart with my sin. He is the only true Provider and Healer, yet I continually slip in to self-reliance and focusing on "The American Dream" to find a false security in the physical, only to be reminded, when things fall apart, that only Jesus is capable.
I love Him, and desire Him, but I place Him on the back burner time and time again.
In this time of prayer I found myself asking Him to move me out of the way of myself and really hear Him this year.  Stop talking, stop doing for the sake of doing and just listen.  I asked for clarity, that I might really know how best to seek Him, feel Him and follow Him.  I asked that this year not slip away, day by day, week by week without significant deepening of my walk.  That my worship not just be the same, but that it be transformed into something like never before, a space that is for He and I to commune.
I asked Him to help me be a better wife, an encourager and supporter of my lover, my best friend, my husband. To be a better mother to the beautiful babies He has gifted me with, to love, encourage and support, discipline, teach and be taught by.  To protect their innocence and point them to the deepest love they'll ever know in Christ Jesus.
I asked to be a better follower of Him, and in turn a better leader in the ministry I have before me, at my church, with my worship team, and other volunteers that I will oversee.  That He show me how to meet the needs of others and help them find places to use their gifts and talents for the greater Kingdom of God.

I placed a study on my nightstand. It was in a drawer. Seems silly, but in the drawer I didn't see it or think about it often. Now I see it, and I pick it up and I do it. I talk with my Father.  I won't be perfect, I'll forget to or make excuses to not spend time with Him in devotion and prayer.  I'll let a week go by without giving Him the time he deserves, the priority he should always be. This is me saying it like it is. It makes my heart sad to say it, but it's true. I will mess up.   But this year, instead of letting the gap of guilt widen, I will continue to push myself out of a place of complacency and pursue Him.

I won't let Satan's voice telling me that asking for forgiveness one more time is one more time too many.  

I may not be capable, but He is,  It is in my weakness that He is made strong, that He is glorified.

This is me being transparent, honest and embarrassed at the person I am far to often.  But Jesus can take the tattered parts of me and turn them into a beautiful tapestry.  He can for you too.

Kristine

Derailed...

As excited as I was to begin this new year with a bang, it turned out to be more of a fizzle.  My intentions were to wake up on the 1st head to church and come home and starting planning for things to begin and accomplish this first week of the new year.  Well, we made it to church and once we got home everything stalled.  Addison after her nap started coughing and feeling icky, and I started to feel a lot of achyness (sp) in my joints and muscles as well as a headache coming on.  Needless to say, we were going downhill and fast. Sunday night came and went and then Monday--  the aches and pains I had felt were intensifying in my joints and muscles and I spent the night buried under blankets sleeping in sweats and my robe, still freezing with chattering teeth that kept me up from 2-4:30am.  Having not gotten to bed until almost 11 this was not much sleep for mama.  Addison and Cruz both woke up at 6 so I was going to have to survive on 4.5 hours of sleep,with a now migraine headache and low fever.  Addison was hacking and complaining of an upset tummy and Jake had to be off to work (poor guy wanted to stay home and take care of us but it is month end close so he really couldn't).  Luckily for me, Cruz sleeps well and takes good naps during the day and he did so all day Tuesday.  I took advantage of his nap-times and let Addison watch cartoons and movies while I cat-napped on the couch trying to regain some strength.
I know we had quite a few friends praying for us, I was worried it was flu and praying constantly all day that Cruz not get whatever Addison and I had.  By the end of the day, both of us were feeling quite a bit better and seemingly on the mend. Addison's still had her cough yesterday but not too bad and is mostly back to her usual self.  I on the other-hand felt 90% better yesterday and jumped on my usual daily routine only to be slapped back again around 4pm when I started getting the same aches as I had on Monday night.  I spent the remainder of the evening in pain and started the on and off of feeling like I was freezing (despite wearing layers), then sweating.  UGH! I believe I have come to the conclusion that I have fallen victim to Mastitis. I am calling my doctor at Sandpoint Women's Health today to see if they agree, and if so, to treat with antibiotics before it gets any worse. I do have the symptoms in my chest region that follow suit with Mastitis and being that what would have been "flu" never really progressed, this is where I've landed.
All this being said, all I can say at this point is wow! I had never really gotten sick while Addison was a baby, even a toddler and on,  my first bouts with any illnesses came by way of a cold and GI bug this last summer while pregnant with Cruz.  I was still a mother of only one child that I had to take care. Being a sick mommy of a sick 3 year old and still needing to take care of, nurse, etc. a 10 week old is a lot of work.  I have a ton of admiration for the single mom's out there who's reality this is daily.
I am also thankful for the community of people in my life.  I knew there were a lot of people praying for our recovery as well as praying for protection over my infant.  I also had my doctors wife ask me if there was anything they could do and offer to bring me chicken soup.  I mean how many people have a community like this?  When I say community I'm not referring specifically to that of Sandpoint, but rather the community of people who we have relationships with, that care about us and us them.  Those that pray for us and we pray for, offer to help out, etc.  I believe that through these relationships and community, I can see the hands and feet of Jesus.  And looking back on this week, the first week of 2012 that I had all these hopes and plans for, I realize that maybe God's plan for me was to stop (or be stopped) in order that I might take some time to realize all those in our lives that make up a great community of people who God has put in our lives to show us His love so that we strive at doing the same for others.  A great reminder to me that this year, 2012-- might not only be about my hopes, intentions and aspirations, but rather what things God might want me to focus on hourly, daily, weekly, etc.
So, as this week starts winding down, and most of the things I planned to accomplish were derailed by illness, I believe I have had some time to be reminded that though my 2012 goals included following and growing in Jesus, HE reminded me that this is a moment by moment task, an hour by hour fine tuning of the ear to His voice, prompting and leading.  To not allow my goals to get in the way of what He might have for me in the moment, even if its different than what I had planned for that moment.

Its Thursday, here's to the rest of this week and weekend.  May our bodies be healed by His hand, our hearts be pulled closer to the Heart of the Father and our hopes, dreams and intentions be aligned with His moment by moment plan for our lives.

K

2011 Moments

The last day of 2011! I can't believe it but am SO excited to move out of this year and into a new one! I'm going to carve out some time later today when the babies are both napping, (ut oh, did I just jinx myself?!) to write out a list of goals and things I wish to be able to look back on this time 365 days from now and see significant growth and improvement in my spiritual and personal life from.

However, as rough as 2011 was I do want to acknowledge the things I am extremely thankful for that came this year:

1. A greater dependency on Jesus as the sustainer of life and giver of everything we need to survive.  My ability to trust in His plan was tested in many ways this last year. However on this side of the year, I believe I have the assurance that in what have been some of the hardest situations we've faced so far, I can rely fully on Christ to provide and continue to bless in the ways He knows are best for my life, 'nough said!

2. A strengthened relationship with my incredibly patient husband.  Jake and I have been together now for 12 year and married for 8 and a half.  This year was the hardest year we've faced together due to many changes we faced as a family.  Outside of my faith in God, the one person/thing I could always count on and look to for "the next step" was my Jake.  Not only was he dealing with the same strain of these changes but also a hormonal, morning-sick-ridden, pregnant wife for 10 months out the year. :) I know that life will still throw us many, many more curve balls but I believe that with Jake as my partner and best friend and the solid foundation of Jesus that we try to continually build our relationship on, we can take on the world and come out the other end with a deeper love and commitment to one another.  Thank you my sweet husband for loving me and putting up with me this last year!

3. Addison Marie, my first born, beautiful little girl! My heart could not be more full than to watch Addison as she grows into a loving, gifted, relational and fiery little girl!  Addison has gone from a new 2 year old just finishing up potty training ( *chuckling as I recall a Dec. 27th trip to CDA RaptorReef with The Bostock's and upon the excitement during the jumping on the bunk beds in the hotel room Addison, on the top bunk with Izzi proceed to have an accident that left me scrubbing sheets and blankets in the bathroom with the little shampoo bottles intended for hair, but destined poop-clean up instead), to a pony-tail wearing, dress loving "mini-sixteen year old" with a HUGE vocabulary, who loves to help mom in the kitchen, read with and be chased around the house by her dad, decorate the house :) and hang her clothes up on her "wings" (aka: hangers) in the closet.  She had learned about independence and her "right"to choose to say "NO" but also has to deal with the consequences of not following directions from mom and dad when she disobeys.  Addison is a light, she adores her new little brother, her dear friend Izzi, cousin Dominique and Daddy as well as enjoys spending time with her grandparents and cousins.  I look forward to seeing her continue to grow and change and blossom into more of who God created her to be.  OH! And she's as excited as can be to be starting up ballet classes this next week!

4. CRUZ HALE OLIVER!! Cruz made his appearance on October 21st (right on time as I was scheduled for my C-Section on the 21st).  How exciting it was to welcome a little boy into our family! My parents were dying for a grandson and a grandson they got!  Cruz is now 10 weeks old and growing faster than I can believe.  He is just shy of 14 pounds already and just over 24 inches long.  He is easily moving into his 3-6 month clothes and is blessing us with many smiles, silly grins and coos!  He loves his tummy, and is already rolling over and moving his legs and knees underneath himself in attempt to show us he could be an early crawler?   He is a great napper and is close to sleeping through the night.  His face melts my heart and boy does he love his sister! When she is in the room he searches for her and adores it when he gets her full attention.  I am so in love with our amazing gift.  God has richly blessed us with Cruz and we are excited to learn more about our little boy this year and get to know his personality as he reveals it to us as 2012 unfolds.

5. Amazing mentors and friends.  Blessed to be working along side some fantastic people at First Christian Church part time, I am in the company of some of the most awesome brothers and sisters in Christ.  I have been challenged by many of their words and experiences and find myself regularly reflecting on these things and asking myself how I can change, grow and adopt a more Christ-like attitude, perspective and walk in my own life.   And WOW, some amazing girlfriends that have enriched my life and been there for me when I've been completely unraveled and needed to "share" to the point of hearing my voice and exhausting their ears far to much.  These women are some of the greatest blessings in my life and have shown me the love of God in so many ways this last year. Thank you girls, you know who you are.

6. Family. Jake and I couldn't be more lucky than to live in the same town as both of our families.  For the support, love and constant belief in us, I couldn't be more thankful.  There really isn't much more to say except that we are incredibly fortunate to have the opportunity to raise our babies this close to both sets of grandparents and cousins.  It makes my heart swell to know that Addison and Cruz will have them as an active part of their lives! How much more blessed could we be....

Well, I think that about wraps it up for me, there is much more I could write about, but these are the biggest pieces of my life and the things I am most moved to write about.  I pray this day brings you some moments of reflection on 2011 and a push to think about what your 2012 hopes and goals are!  May this year be the year of blessing, growth and a deeper commitment to growing in Him!

Cheers,
Kristine

Something New!

Something New...
Yay for 2012! Counting down the last few days of 2011 has had me questioning if one more cookie is really worth it, and confronting the fact that I think I have a sugar addiction that started October 21st and is going to have to end January 1st.  I decided after having Cruz that I'd enjoy the holiday food and not feel guilty-- well I think I over-indulged and now have a sugar addiction, ugh.  That being said Jake and I decided we were going to re-kick off our at home BeachBody workouts (INSANITY for him and TurboFire for me) and we were questioning a new kind of "lifestyle eating" one that we could apply to our lives without feeling totally deprived of things we like to have ever so often... (my dad's cheeseburgers in the summer and mom's sugar cookies during Christmas are too hard to say no to). :)
Our church offered a new "diet" that is a lifestyle eating plan called "The Daniel Plan" this last year and after sampling some of the food and learning a bit more about the program (as well as being challenged to participate); We are starting this up on Monday and look forward to the journey as it encompasses not only diet, but spirituality and looking at the body as a temple, etc. Check it out here: http://www.danielplan.com/
Also, TurboFire will be something new for me, I've always been a runner and INSANITY girl but seeing that I am still nursing Cruz and will be for quite some time, INSANITY is just a bit too much for my body to handle, he depends on me, so I am going to try TurboFire this time and will see what happens.  It is an interval training program as well but is more dance oriented with some weight incorporation as well. Did you see I said "DANCE" program?!? yikesssss! This could be a total flop but I'm going to give it a go! I'll keep my blog posted, ha, with my thoughts and progress! :)
I am going to throw one plug out there-- I am a BeachBody coach and if you are looking to order a home-based workout program (P90x, P90x2, INSANITY, TurboFire, Hip-Hop Abs, Slim in Six, etc.) get in touch with me: kristinemoliver@yahoo.com or go to www.beachbodycoach.com/mrsoliver to see what we got.  I can help you find the right program :)
You can also get in touch with me via Facebook here: (like me) :)  http://www.facebook.com/coachkristineoliver

Cheers!
Kristine

2012 Here we Come!

No lies here, I am THANKFUL 2011 is almost over. Rough year for the Oliver's but we did get the gift of a little boy name Cruz Hale who arrived 10.21.2011 

Here are some pictures of our little boy who we adore!

 Mommy loves her little man...

 Such a sweet boy

 I love these shots of him wrapped up so cozy and peaceful!

Christmas Gift!

Addison also was a light to us this year-- She is a sassy (wonder where she gets that?!?!) little thing and so far three (she turned three in late Nov.) has proven to be a little tougher than 2 was....She is very advanced verbally and her comprehension is unreal sometimes....so when I say tougher, I mean her attitude sometimes resembles that of a 14 year old :) ha!   She is bright, funny and kind and ALWAYS wanting to be "in the know," again, like someone I know!  We love our curious little girl and enjoy watching her reach new milestones.  Here are a few pics of her from this fall:

 

So as we look forward, we are VERY thankful for the new start of a new year! 2012 we are coming for you and can't wait to see how we grow and make memories to last a lifetime in the new space you create!

Cheers to you and yours!

2011 Rear- view Mirror

2011, crazy. Already I am looking back at 3 months and one week in this new year feeling like an insane amount of time has passed. To say 2011 started off the way we ended 2010 would be laughable. Reality is 2010 was a great year for us. After the last couple years of big changes financially and me transitioning from working full time to being a full time mommy creating a time of uncertainty regarding our position financially. 2010 was the year that we started to rest in the peace that God had not only provided for our needs during this time, but He had been blessing us in so many ways. We hit a stride that allowed us to breath out and not be tense in the shoulders waiting for "the next big thing" to hit and propel us into panic mode. My ability to "let go and let God" had grown immensely! I was no longer in that place where you have that nag in the back of your mind or the pit of your stomach always. I could honestly say I trusted God with these things and believed in His ability to show me how incredibly faithful He is! That said, our year was good, perfectly uneventful and enjoyable in that sense! :) Around the end of the year Jake and I decided that it was time to start thinking about another baby. Addison was just shy of 2 and we had always said about the time she'd be 3 would be just perfect for us, me specifically. Amazingly the first month we tried, I found out I was pregnant and was honestly shocked at how quickly everything happened but within the week I lost the baby and felt the disappointment of another miscarriage. The holidays came and went and just as the promise of 2011's fresh start shone we found ourselves facing the horror of Jake loosing his job of 5.5 years mid-January.

Here's where my insecurity should have got the best of me, where I should have been freaking out and pulling out my box of band-aids and super glue getting ready to "fix" the situation to the best of my human ability. But you know what, as I write this blog, this is where I realized how much my faith in God had grown. He had never left us hanging the past two years, we'd never missed a meal, been unable to fill up our gas tank or even miss a birthday gift to a loved one. As I said before, I could really only look back and see blessings. Now don't get me wrong, I am FAR from perfect, just ask my husband :) and i had my moments of weakness and questioning "why us, why now," but when push came to shove, I knew God was shutting doors and opening windows as the cliche goes.... and just over 2 months later Jake is working for an unbelievable company in a career track he had hoped to eventually transition into.

There have been some big changes we have had to face, our house is on the market in a terrible real estate economy and we really need it to sell, but again, God knows, no really, HE KNOWS better than we do what is best, how to work out the details, for which he cares so much about. I know that there may be some days, weeks and steps of uncertainty as we move forward, but ultimately I just feel so richly blessed by a Father who pursues my heart and wants nothing more than to continue to show me His face, if I seek, I find.

Finally, despite my initial concern following Jake's layoff and not knowing what the future held for us regarding his job, a potential move out of the area, etc. We decided that more than anything the two negative pregnancy tests following my October miscarriage were more disappointing than anything and that there was NO reason to hold off on trying for another child regardless of our financial situation. My initial thoughts in January were that it might be a good thing that we hadn't found ourselves pregnant just yet, but as I mentioned, those negative tests only confirmed the desire we had to keep trying and trusting that God truly is "For Family," and would continue to take care of us if He chose to bless us with another pregnancy. Saying I trust you God, means I trust you right? Well, I have an all to easy tendency to fall back into a place of micromanaging God when I feel a little frightened....but in this case we turned it all over to Him and He continues to prove His Glory over and over. Despite our inadequacies, our doubts and our lack of trust and faith in Him that shows up daily in our human lives.

Yesterday Jake and I heard the beating heart of our second bundle of joy. A strong, fast heartbeat, a reminder of the blessing and heart of a Father who is sovereign and full of love for His children. in about 29 weeks Addison will meet her little brother or sister and our family of 3 will be a family of 4.

If the next 8+ months are anything like the last 3 have been, we are in for change, ups, downs and more. I've already buckled the seat belt around my growing tummy and look forward to watching God pave the way for this adventure we find ourselves in the midst of... prayer- fully hopeful that I will chase after, seek His face and TRUST whole-heartedly in all that He is doing to show us more of who He is. Please Jesus, help me to do this even when your plan is fuzzy or blurry in my eyes.

May your spring be filled with the blessing of newness in Him....

-K

Lead me Forward...

Life is hard. I was just telling my dear friend Katie the last Saturday on our drive to Spokane that a few years ago when I was newly married, finishing up my bachelors degree and basically enjoying a pretty easy life-- I had a hard time wrapping my head around how AMAZING Heaven would be, and therefore was content to wait a while for Jesus to come take me home. Meaning it was hard for me at that point in my life for me to understand why people would say "I wish Jesus would come back today." Now- don't get me wrong. I loved the Lord and was excited for Heaven, but life was fun and easy and there was still so much I wanted to do and see. etc, etc, etc.

Fast forward about a year and I was starting to understand this sentiment. Life was getting more complicated, getting harder. My youthful rose-colored glasses were fogging up with a not so rose colored reality. And I'm not trying to say that I have a rough life, by no means is that something I would say because I have it good, I am blessed. It's just that as life changes, and we find out more of who we are as a people and as an individual I was starting to see how NOT good we are apart from a devotion to Christ. People are broken, leaders don't always have the end all, be all answers and they fall too, no really,I fall, they fall, we fall-- because we are sinners. We fail and fail and fail some more. We dig and pull and yell and throw fits and beg and plead and don't TRULY let Jesus lead our lives. Life is hard, we like to learn the hard way because we like ourselves so much.

The truth is- I've tasted and seen that HE is good. SO much better than this world- on my best day- when I'm loving life so much. BUT- I want to desire Jesus more, I want to desire Heaven more, and in the meantime- I want to stop being so darn complacent with my faith. I NEED to have a more burning desire too see broken people healed, hearts repaired and restored in Jesus Name-- Relationships made brand new. I want to see Jesus's face and tell him I don't know why he loves me, but I am so thankful. Thankful he always chose to let me try and fail and try and try and try.

Tonight I'm finding myself broken and thankful and in awe of the POWER of the Holy Spirit. I spent the last two days in scattered communication with Jesus- asking for something specific- begging for something and feeling ashamed for realizing I was at his feet only because of circumstance. I want to see JESUS. He answered my prayer. He is a God of Hope and Mercy. And He is glad to hear from my lame-self. Oh Savior! I don't deserve you but I am SO glad you love me.
Jesus- find me here. Forgive me here. Your love is SO good. Quiet my tongue, open my ears. Lead me forward to you. Thank you for showing me your power, even though I don't deserve to see it.

May your days be Merry & Bright.....

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...oh wait, actually it's not really "looking" like Christmas yet, that is unless you walk into our house! :) Though the trees outside are looking more bare and less colorful, they most definitely are not holding any "white stuff" on their branches yet. Inside The Oliver household however, there is a tree housing twinkling lights, random ornaments of vibrant hues and silly shapes, cinnamon candles, my favorite nativity and snowman decor galore! We decided to embrace the holiday spirit early this year and make our home a Christmas Oasis Mid-November.
I've been asked- "why are you skipping Thanksgiving?" To which I reply- "I am most certainly not skipping Thanksgiving, I'm simply categorizing it as part of the Christmas season!" The way I see it, this time of year is the perfect opportunity to reflect on all the "gifts" in our lives, the God given moments we have collected for the last 11 months and truly, truly give gratitude and praise to our Savior for the rich blessings He continues to pour out on us. To savor and cultivate new and old relationships with loved ones and friends, to take quiet moments and be still if only to find yourself in a moment of stillness and peace. Why not start this season now-- who cares if the turkey has not yet been carved? I'm excited this year to bring on this season sooner, not as to bring the day of gift opening quicker (as if we ever could), but to have extra days to just focus on being THANKFUL and acknowledging the may blessings I pass over everyday without second thoughts. To point my daughter to Jesus and the amazing GIFT of His birth and create moments that will be treasured on into the future. I'm okay with starting these things now.

For those of you not quite ready to hang the mistletoe- I understand :) but implore you to join in the spirit of the season today! To reflect, give thanks and pull your loved ones close and be reminded of the "reason for the season." We should be so inclined to do this everyday, but we're good at forgetting....or let me rephrase that, "I'M" good at forgetting. So if you don't mind I'd like to wish you a "Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday Season" this November 15th

May Jesus be the Center of your Celebrating!

Kristine

Zumba leads to deep thought?

Zzzzzzzuuuumba! I just got home from my first Zumba class ever! It was a lot of fun. I forgot what it feels like to be in a room with a bunch of people (in this case- ladies) with live music and energy on all sides! Don't get me wrong! I LOVE my BeachBody workouts- INSANITY will always be my go to workout and a regular part of my workout regimine- but for at least the next month you'll be able to find me 2-3 times a week sweating it out "dance/cardio" style with some girlfriends!

Speaking of working out- I have been kind of down on myself lately for not being so "on the ball" with my workout schedule. Its funny that I can get so bent out of shape over missing workouts (that I choose to skip for no other reason most of the time than just not wanting to push "play"), but there are so many other important things in my life that I miss daily and don't think twice about. The biggest- time during the week for deepening my walk with Christ and growing closer to Him through study, reflection and conversation. Tonight I'm reminded of how good it feels to (as BeachBody would say) "Decide, Commit and Succeed." The way I feel after a good workout is ALWAYS worth the time I spent working out-- and this is only physical! If I could only apply this same approach to my spiritual life--- OH THE REWARD! Our physical bodies- only temporary here on earth. Our hearts, our Spirits BELONG to Jesus! Time spent with Him is ETERNAL- the payoff is forever! Something we can't undo by eating a Snickers bar right after :)

So what I'm trying to say is this- sometimes we need to stop and check our priorities. For me, realizing that if I first give time to the One worthy of my undivided attention, the rest will fall into place. Deciding to sit down in the quiet and be with Jesus is time NEVER wasted! So if you see me- remind me! :)

PS- For the record- it felt good to get back on the workout grind this week! Being active and committed to staying healthy and taking care of our bodies also has its rewards! :)

K

I have....

The baby bug.

goodnight- :)

Two....

I can't believe that as I write this post my sweet little bear is running circles around the house with piggies in her hair, talking up a storm! I wonder where she gets all those words, and why she is the conversationist that she is? :) haha...for those of you who know me even a little bit, I think you can answer this question. From Jake! hehehehe, okay, really, she gets it from her mama!

Truly though, Addison is just one short month shy of two years old already. Anyone who is a parent knows how quickly the early years of our babies lives go by. I vividly remember my mom telling me as I complained of wanting school years to fly by or weeks to turn into weekends-- the words "don't wish your time away, it goes by too quickly!" I understand this in a way only a parent could now.

The first year of Addison's life went by fast, but being a new parent, certain "periods" of time were easy to transition out of....(um, I'm speaking of the night feeding months- for those of you in the dark :) and every week, really, brought new exciting milestones and the opportunity to trust my own instincts when it came to taking care of my baby. So although the year flew by and it was sad to see my infant turn into a baby, then a pre-toddler....it was a full year of many new, welcomed surprises!

This last year- oh my heart! Addison is a little girl, she knows so much already and I feel like I can watch this little one mature by the day and become more aware of the world around her and more excited to learn, grow and discover! This too, is a very exciting time in all of our lives....but where did this year go? Where are the chubby wrists and rolly-polly thighs I squeezed and kissed everyday? Did they disappear without my knowledge? How does that little brain form not only cohesive words- but sentences that make sense and often leave me in wonderment of how she even knows what she's asking or telling me?

My little baby is now a little girl who sings "Jesus loves me, Are you sleeping, and The Itsy Bitsy Spider," Followed by high pitched squeels and laughter rooted in the pure joy only a child can enjoy fully!

So I guess what I'm saying is, that in the last two years of life, the two years my little bear has been a part of our lives, EVERYTHING has changed- for me as an individual and a woman.

I feel like I know more of who I am and who I was made to be. I understand the reality of what it means to be more selfless, what it means to be a missionary in my own home, someone who loves unconditionally and with wreckless abandon- a small glimpse of how our Father loves us.

The things that once seemed so important in "my" life, the things that would fulfill "me" just don't have the meaning or intensity that they once did- and in surrendering my wants and dreams, God has only given me greater ones!

When I hear Addison Marie say "mommy, I wuv you!" "Is it tasty mama?" "Kiss mama" my heart could not be any more full...this child I have been given could not be more of a gift that literally keeps on giving. So as we enter into the next year of "toddler-hood" and our family continues to grow, dreams, hopes and aspirations are changed and continually molded by the potter... I look forward to the moments of joy, the lessons from hurt and the unmeasurable blessings that come from Jesus and cling to each moment.

Be Blessed!
K

Back at it...I hope! :)

Why hello blog! It has been a LONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG time! I've decided that it is time to give this another trying, seeing that life just might be a little bit more predictable and I just may be able to keep a regular update going via "The Oliver Story." I have SO much to update on and now that so many of our friends and family are on Facebook, and blogging themselves I decided this is the best way to reach you all!
Come back soon! I'm feeling like writing......

ah hem.... my goodness! I started this blog with the intention that it be the main way I could keep friends and family updated on the "happenings" in our life but time and life events have gotten the best of me. That and not having Internet at home for the last 8 plus weeks! Well we are online again and my how things have changed!

Just shy of 6 weeks ago the biggest and best blessing we have ever received made her way into our lives.... her name is Addison Marie and she is a gift and glimpse of Jesus's love!

As I write this blog she is next to me, swinging in her new Christmas swing dozing off to sleep. When I look at her my heart melts, literally. I don't understand how you can love someone so much, so deeply, so fast. The second she was placed in my arms my world changed. She has changed me so much already. I think differently and pray differently....love as I understand it and know it has completely changed. I wonder if this emotion that I feel so strong is similar to how our heavenly father loves us. I know that it would only be a fraction of how he cares for us but I believe its the best way I'll ever come close to understanding how much he loves me, and you. I thank God that she is a part of our lives and look forward to watching her grow. I pray everyday that her heart is already captivated by Jesus and that she already loves her savior deeply. I want her to know always the love He has for her and to walk intimately with Him.

Addison will be 6 weeks old on Sunday.... time is already flying. Before we know it she'll be six years old and heading off to kindergarten. *sob

Reflecting.....

2008 was a year of many changes and many ups and downs. We are so thankful that this has been a year of huge spiritual growth for both of us . Jake has had the blessing of serving in the children's ministry at First Christian. He loves teaching all the elementry school kids about Jesus. His faith and passion for the Lord continue to grow and spill into my life and now into Addisons. He is so excited and fired up. 2009 offers him more responsibility and a part time ministry position helping a dear friend and family pastor Kyle Bostock out one day a week. I don't think Jake ever would have imagined himself in ministry at all and now its one of his favorite things. His example in my life daily pushes me....I'm so thankful for Jake. He is beyond what I ever deserved. Having a Godly husband is priceless and amazing.

For me, I've learned to let go.....especially in the last few months of 2008. I realize in so many ways how I can hinder my own spiritual growth and how much I don't want to get in the way of God working in my life this year. I don't want to rest on what's comfortable. There are things "I" want and think I need, but ultimately its up to Christ to show me in what ways I must give up myself to further His work and His kingdom. I need the constant reminder that we were meant to live on earth to be in relationship with others and help them find our savior. It's not about me....although I'd often like for it to be. I look forward to allowing Him work in my life and in the relationships I have now and will develop this year. I crave a deeper prayer life and a deeper connection with Him.

I hope that you desire to grow this year in ways you never thought of.....outside the box ways that stretch you beyond yourself! DIVE deep into Him!

Happy New Year!
Kristine

counting down.....

It's officially November! Right now most people are buzzing about this historical election they will cast their votes for tomorrow, me, I'm breathing thru minutes and counting down hours until November 15th. In 12 short days a new addition to our family will be joining us. Actually, she is the first addition to our family, Addison Marie Oliver. Now that I've typed November 15th, I'm hoping she will spite me and come early....not late, early! :) Jake thinks that she will be here a week from today. I like his thinking, a week from today would be wonderful, 5 days early and on one of my greatest friends Birthdays.... Pray me in to labor friends! *wink

This last couple of weeks have been 2 of the hardest for me, and for Jake. With this struggling economy we've had some cutbacks and paycuts at work. The blessing is that we still have jobs, the hurt is the cut in pay and a baby on the way. Thankfully, we saved for my maternity leave and can focus on the Joy of our little girl.
The hard part for me is that in the midst of this "storm" I've had to face myself and my weaknesses and realize that I'm in a weak spot in my faith. It's always easy to trust God when things are "good".....I'm great at believing in His power when I don't need it so much....Right now, I'm struggling because I am having the hardest time trusting Him, understanding why we are in the midst of this struggle and believing that He will take care of us. I don't know what to pray for and how to pray for it. I know what I want to pray....I want to pray for tangible things, the gap to be restored, the security of our jobs, the business we work for to be fruitful, etc. but I know and believe that there is a bigger lesson in this....I believe that God wants Jake and I in this place of vulnerability for a reason.....He wants our attention, He wants us to grow, and He most definitely wants us to learn to lean on Him, not just say we do, to experience His power and learn that its not about us and our comfort and our "stuff".....I'm disappointed in myself that I am struggling to let go and let Him work.
I'm not writing all this so that those reading will feel sorry....writing is more therapeutic, and I guess if I can be transparent, and maybe someone else is in the same spot...they too could realize that God wants us to Grow even when it's tough, when the light at the end of the tunnel seems extremely distant. I think the message that Jesus wants us to receive is in the journey thru the tunnel as long and dark as it might be. His word should be (and I'm desperate to make it) the lamp unto my feet and the light unto my path.

Blessings.............