Derailed...

As excited as I was to begin this new year with a bang, it turned out to be more of a fizzle.  My intentions were to wake up on the 1st head to church and come home and starting planning for things to begin and accomplish this first week of the new year.  Well, we made it to church and once we got home everything stalled.  Addison after her nap started coughing and feeling icky, and I started to feel a lot of achyness (sp) in my joints and muscles as well as a headache coming on.  Needless to say, we were going downhill and fast. Sunday night came and went and then Monday--  the aches and pains I had felt were intensifying in my joints and muscles and I spent the night buried under blankets sleeping in sweats and my robe, still freezing with chattering teeth that kept me up from 2-4:30am.  Having not gotten to bed until almost 11 this was not much sleep for mama.  Addison and Cruz both woke up at 6 so I was going to have to survive on 4.5 hours of sleep,with a now migraine headache and low fever.  Addison was hacking and complaining of an upset tummy and Jake had to be off to work (poor guy wanted to stay home and take care of us but it is month end close so he really couldn't).  Luckily for me, Cruz sleeps well and takes good naps during the day and he did so all day Tuesday.  I took advantage of his nap-times and let Addison watch cartoons and movies while I cat-napped on the couch trying to regain some strength.
I know we had quite a few friends praying for us, I was worried it was flu and praying constantly all day that Cruz not get whatever Addison and I had.  By the end of the day, both of us were feeling quite a bit better and seemingly on the mend. Addison's still had her cough yesterday but not too bad and is mostly back to her usual self.  I on the other-hand felt 90% better yesterday and jumped on my usual daily routine only to be slapped back again around 4pm when I started getting the same aches as I had on Monday night.  I spent the remainder of the evening in pain and started the on and off of feeling like I was freezing (despite wearing layers), then sweating.  UGH! I believe I have come to the conclusion that I have fallen victim to Mastitis. I am calling my doctor at Sandpoint Women's Health today to see if they agree, and if so, to treat with antibiotics before it gets any worse. I do have the symptoms in my chest region that follow suit with Mastitis and being that what would have been "flu" never really progressed, this is where I've landed.
All this being said, all I can say at this point is wow! I had never really gotten sick while Addison was a baby, even a toddler and on,  my first bouts with any illnesses came by way of a cold and GI bug this last summer while pregnant with Cruz.  I was still a mother of only one child that I had to take care. Being a sick mommy of a sick 3 year old and still needing to take care of, nurse, etc. a 10 week old is a lot of work.  I have a ton of admiration for the single mom's out there who's reality this is daily.
I am also thankful for the community of people in my life.  I knew there were a lot of people praying for our recovery as well as praying for protection over my infant.  I also had my doctors wife ask me if there was anything they could do and offer to bring me chicken soup.  I mean how many people have a community like this?  When I say community I'm not referring specifically to that of Sandpoint, but rather the community of people who we have relationships with, that care about us and us them.  Those that pray for us and we pray for, offer to help out, etc.  I believe that through these relationships and community, I can see the hands and feet of Jesus.  And looking back on this week, the first week of 2012 that I had all these hopes and plans for, I realize that maybe God's plan for me was to stop (or be stopped) in order that I might take some time to realize all those in our lives that make up a great community of people who God has put in our lives to show us His love so that we strive at doing the same for others.  A great reminder to me that this year, 2012-- might not only be about my hopes, intentions and aspirations, but rather what things God might want me to focus on hourly, daily, weekly, etc.
So, as this week starts winding down, and most of the things I planned to accomplish were derailed by illness, I believe I have had some time to be reminded that though my 2012 goals included following and growing in Jesus, HE reminded me that this is a moment by moment task, an hour by hour fine tuning of the ear to His voice, prompting and leading.  To not allow my goals to get in the way of what He might have for me in the moment, even if its different than what I had planned for that moment.

Its Thursday, here's to the rest of this week and weekend.  May our bodies be healed by His hand, our hearts be pulled closer to the Heart of the Father and our hopes, dreams and intentions be aligned with His moment by moment plan for our lives.

K